


The Wind and the Darkness

by InsectKin



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Egos, epic smackdowns, injured pride, perceived betrayals, the ship tag is dubious but it felt dubious to leave out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 06:31:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10714098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsectKin/pseuds/InsectKin
Summary: A triptych of scenes with Zoya & the Darkling set before, during, and after Shadow & Bone. Includes  rumors, amplifiers, broken ribs, and Alina's escape, all in the context of two egos large enough that one wonders they can fit in the same room.Alternate title: Two Times the Darkling Had the Upper Hand, and One Time He Didn't.





	1. The Darkling Hears a Rumor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A year or two before Shadow & Bone

Zoya began the trek from the lake back to the Little Palace, her breath freezing in front of her, small clouds in the light of the setting sun. She had nothing better to do these days than help the younger Squallers with lessons; she’d recently graduated from her own studies and had to find something to occupy her time before the campaigning season began. Her whole life had been spent training for battle and she was ready to prove herself, ready to fight. 

There was a crunch in the snow behind her and she spun around, lifting her hands, wind already playing at her fingertips, prepared to take on anything that came her way. 

Well, _almost_ anything.

“ _Moi Soverenyi._ ” She lowered her arms. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

He approached, hands in the pockets of his long black overcoat, and inclined his head in greeting. “Nazyalensky.” He fell into step beside her and they walked in silence for a moment, her mind racing. Why was the Darkling out here? Had he been coming to see her? And if so … 

“I heard a rumor,” he said. “You disappeared one evening a few weeks ago and were seen returning to your room the next morning.” 

“That’s the rumor?” she asked hopefully. 

“No, that’s the fact. The rumor concerns where you were during that time.” He turned his attention towards her and she met his grey gaze briefly before looking away. “The rumor is that you spent the evening in my bed.” 

A furious blush covered Zoya’s cheeks. The rumor wasn’t true, of course, a fact of which the Darkling was more than aware. But it was still a rumor, and while Zoya hadn’t started it she also hadn’t made any efforts to keep it from spreading. She’d evaded questions from other Grisha with a knowing smile, had even given an _I-couldn’t-possibly-comment_ lift of her eyebrows once or twice. She’d known she was playing with fire, but somehow she’d thought no one would dare mention a rumor like that to the Darkling himself.

Clearly, she’d been wrong. 

“I can explain –”

“Can you?” He stopped now and faced her, head tilted down to look her in the eye. Even amongst the Grisha his cheekbones were obscene; she folded her arms and fought the urge to squirm under his stare. 

“I never _said_ that’s where I was,” she protested.

“But you let people believe it. Why?” 

Lying her way out of this was unlikely to work. She took a deep breath. “Because it’s better for me if they think I spent the night with you than if they knew where I had really been.”

“Which was?”

She flushed more but lifted her chin, unwilling to let him see her discomfort. “With Ivan.”

A corner of his lip lifted in a way that suggested that he had already known the answer and had just been curious if she’d admit to it. “And how does Ivan feel about you encouraging the rumor?”

“Why would that matter?”

He was silent for several seconds, considering. When he resumed walking, it was slow enough that it was clear she was meant to accompany him. They covered half the distance to the Little Palace, her heart beating hard beneath her kefta, before he spoke again.

“I’ve been thinking that it’s time to get you an amplifier.” 

Now Zoya stopped, frozen in place in the snow. “Me?” she gasped. 

“We’ll find one when the snow melts, before we begin campaigning for the year.” 

It was finally happening. But – “Why now? After what you just heard?” 

“You’re ambitious enough to let Grisha believe you spent the night with me, fearless enough to tell me you did it for personal gain, and callous enough to not care what the man you did spend it with thinks.” An apt summary, if not a flattering one. “You were the best Squaller in your year, but that doesn’t always translate onto the battlefield. If that's how you work, I could use more of that in the Second Army.” 

“You won’t be disappointed.”

“I’d better not be.” His gaze held hers, but she couldn’t read his expression. “Once you have an amplifier, I’m going to expect a lot more from you.”

Her heart raced with excitement at the prospect of her own amplifier, at the idea that the Darkling would rely on her. The next thought made her wonder if she had crossed the line dividing brave and stupid, but that wasn’t how this conversation had started, anyway? She looked him squarely in the eye. “Is there anything you’d like from me now, _moi Soverenyi?”_

He tilted his head to one side, amused. As if Grisha girls offered themselves to him every day. “How do you want me to answer that question?”

When she thought about it, she was surprised to discover that she wasn’t sure. He must have seen her indecision; after a few seconds he closed the gap between them and took a bare hand from his coat pocket, cupping his fingers around her cheek and tilting her face up towards him. The rush of power from the contact of his skin on hers went straight to her head – she felt endless, infinite, on fire. 

“Be careful what you ask for when you don’t know what you want.” His voice was low, their faces close enough that his slow, steady breath mingled with her own. She closed her eyes and inhaled, shaking, trying to regain control. “And the rumor about you in my bed, Zoya.”

“Yes,” she whispered, all her effort focused on stopping her knees from giving out. 

“Don’t let it happen again.” 

And just like that he released her, all the power and surety vanishing with the loss of his touch, the threat in his words all the more potent because he hadn’t had to make one at all. 

She watched his figure cut through the last remnants of daylight as he walked back to the Little Palace, waited for her pulse to slow and her chest to stop heaving. She’d made it through a confrontation with the Darkling, and she hadn’t merely survived: she’d come away from it with the promise of an amplifier. 

She allowed herself a smile as she followed his footsteps back to the palace. She may have hesitated today, but next time, with an amplifier – then, she would know what she really wanted.

Then, she would know how to ask for it.


	2. The Sun Summoner's Ribs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part way through Shadow & Bone

Zoya had expected to receive a summons to see the Darkling after the incident in the training room that sent Alina to the infirmary, but she hadn’t expected it to be quite so soon. She snatched her arm away from Ivan, who had been holding her tricep like she was some sort of prisoner.

“Don’t touch me.” Ivan shrugged and gestured for her to walk in front of him; she stormed ahead, deliberately avoiding looking him in the eye. 

The doors to her commander’s chambers were heavy and thick, intimidating to anyone called into his office. She paused in the hallway just long enough to take a deep breath and straighten her shoulders before shoving the doors open and walking inside.

The Darkling sat behind his desk reading a stack of papers, chin propped on his palm. He glanced up at her entrance.

“ _Moi Soverenyi_ –” she began.

“I’m sending you on the next expedition to Shu Han.”

Her jaw dropped. When she had regained enough control of herself to speak, she gave a laugh of disbelief. “You can’t be serious.” 

Someone less confident would have withered under the look he gave her. “You think I’m not?”

“You need me here,” she argued.

“What I need is the Sun Summoner. And since you’ve demonstrated that you can’t control your temper around her –”

“ _She started it._ ”

His eyes widened slightly – so slightly – and she was horrified to realize that she’d planted her palms on his desk and was leaning over her commander, something she never would have dared if she’d been thinking straight. She forced her arms to relax and took a step backwards.

He waited until she had collected herself to continue. “Since you’ve demonstrated that you can’t control your temper,” he repeated, enunciating each word, “I need you to leave.”

Zoya shook her head, certain he hadn’t thought this through. “She can’t even work her powers on demand! I’m more use to you than a hundred of her.”

“You’re not more use to me than her left pinky.” His gaze was cool and level. “And if you don’t realize that, you’re even more useless than I thought.”

The fabric of her righteous anger began to fray, the pride she’d built in being Grisha when the rest of the world detested her for it began to crumble. She’d done nothing her whole life but work herself to the bone for the Darkling, to be the best student in the Little Palace, the best soldier on the battlefield. How could she mean so little to him now?

If only she could stay she would be able to show him how valuable she could be. An idea came to her – the Darkling didn’t have final say over _everything_. “Maybe I’ll take this up with the king.”

“Be my guest,” the Darkling replied. “But you’ll find this is something you can’t fuck your way out of.” 

Her face reddened, angry that he’d assumed that was what she’d meant and embarrassed because it was. 

“The next expedition departs in a couple weeks,” he added, turning back to the paperwork on his desk. “Be ready to leave then.”

She was dismissed, and so easily. She swayed slightly on her feet, not sure how she could have misjudged the situation so badly, how she could have been so _wrong_. She stared at the man in front of her, pleading with her eyes, heart as rent as if he’d sent Ivan to dispose of her. 

“I thought you cared about me,” she whispered, voice plaintive and coarse.

He lifted his gaze towards her but his expression didn’t shift. “Why did you think that?”

Tears streamed down Zoya’s face as she left the room. She knew that Ivan saw her, knew that people would talk, and for once she didn’t care. Suddenly, everything was different; suddenly, she was replaceable. The one person she thought she could trust would ship her south without a second thought, and all for a girl who was barely even Grisha. 

Zoya locked herself in her room for the rest of the evening. Her ego was wounded, but that would recover, it always did. What the Darkling had done to her, though, that wouldn’t heal as neatly or as simply as Alina’s ribs. His words had cut Zoya in some deep part of her, sliced it in half as she’d seen him do countless times in battle. Him, she’d never trust again.


End file.
